What I’m seeing today is palm cross

You have to look carefully to see this fragile palm cross made from grass. I found it yesterday, Palm Sunday, tucked into the bars of my gate. This little grass cross is drying out, shrinking and curling as it does. It symbolised a little of what I am experiencing in the C19 lockdown.

As usual I am experiencing a hundred emotions a day. But usually I can mitigate those emotions by action. If I’m sad I call on someone who will either cheer me up or distract me. If I’m angry or hurt, I stomp around grumbling and there is no one to hear me and be affected by sharing my pain. If I’m bored I get and out and do something, and because I’m an extrovert, usually I do it with someone else. You get the idea!

But now I’m newly fragile. If I sound off, my family get caught up in the emotion; if I try to drown my emotion in work, I’m at a loss as to what to do; if I try to contain how I feel, it sometimes spills over and it is my family who are forced to bear the weight of it.

Thank you to the person who left my little palm cross, a symbol of my and Jesus’ fragility. Thank you for showing me that life is about small gestures, little actions, stepping gently around each other, being gentle with myself as well as the people closest to me. Simple is better; maybe it is even the best cure for lockdown.

Leave a Reply